Breakup Advice: When Can I Date Again?
There is a common belief that you can’t go forward until there is closure of the old relationship. So is closure a must? I feel the answer is unique to each individual. Some people never really reach what is viewed as closure, and still are able to go on to be successful at relationships.
Is closure that ah-ha moment when you can let go of the past and have forgiveness? And is it absolutely necessary to be able to date again? Check this out:
The Difference Between Dating & Relationships
There a missing factor when dating, there is no emotional commitment. There might be feelings like nervousness and attraction but that’s about it. Dating is kind of like practice so there really isn’t any closure required.
Now when you compare dating to a relationship it’s like comparing little league baseball to major league baseball. There is a whole lot more to a relationship especially when you have 100% involved your love, your dreams and your future plans.
You invest so much in a relationship, and the closure process comes in the form of getting back the control of your love, your dreams and your future visions. Unless we have back command of these pieces we will find it very difficult to start the process of a happy future with someone new.
This Is The Frustrating Part
OK, you meet someone else, and they look just the way you like, and they have the sense of humor you like, heck they even have great manners and smell good. What sucks is if you are not in control of your feelings from your last relationship this new one has no chance.
This might not be what you want to hear but you should really hold off pursuing a relationship until you can be OK without having your ex in your life. Until you can move on without them refrain from getting into any relationship.
If you are not yet ready for a relationship does that mean you shouldn’t date? No, studies have shown that dating can speed up the act of getting your heart, your hopes and your dreams back.
Getting Back Your Emotions
Here are the facts: When talking about dating, closure is not a must but to achieve a successful long term relationship closure is a must. The investment in time and energy to get a handle on your emotions will pay you back for a long time. Because it’s not fair to you or the other person, know matter how good they smell.
Is it scary to take back your emotions? Yes. Is it worth the hard work? Yes, as long as you are looking at the big picture. The one where your happiness is involved.
There are times when it’s not the right answer to seek closure and move on. If you’re still in love with your ex you don’t have to move on until you’re ready to. You can get your ex back I can show you how. The Make Up Plan
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- Posted in Dating on February 19th, 2010



